Friday, December 31, 2010

Sooooo What Do You Think Of This?

I constantly strive information regarding new information on fork trucks. Here is an important question that we thought you would find entertaining.


by Helico

Question by <3Music Is My Life <3: Sooooo What Do You Think Of This?
I'm writing a story (hopefully it will turn into a book lol) and I want to know what you guys think of it! I'm 13 but please don't say things like it's expected of my age to write like this or anything I want an opinion not based on my age. Thank you in advance! And if you could please tell me where to cut off the first chapter that would be great!

I honestly can't believe she would do this to me. What could she possibly be thinking? How could moving to the middle of no where be good for me? My thoughts were of coarse directed at my mother or at least someone who said they were my mother. The person who raised me since birth and the one who just shipped me off to my grandmother's house obviously weren't the same person. I was torn from thought when the person next to me bumped my leg while stretching.
"Sorry." The boy looked about my age and had an embarrassed smile when he spoke.
"It's okay." I replied while still looking out the plane window missing home and resenting my mother with a burning passion. As sad as it is those were the only emotions I'd even been able to feel after the accident so when I started blocking out my mom she was actually relieved that I was feeling something.
"Um..." He waited until I looked at him again before he continued.
"Are you okay? You've been really quiet this whole trip and look kinda sad or maybe pissed." I looked at this complete stranger with the eyes that even my best friend can't stand to look into anymore. People say they used to be full of life but now they're soulless and full of grief.
"Do you honestly want to know?" Most people think I come off as sweet, Innocent, and I was until someone says the wrong thing to me. The boy nodded slowly as if to say 'Yeah if I didn't want to know why would I ask you?' I close my eyes for about a second then my lift my head and give him a stare that usually scares the hell out of people. Part sad and part angry.
"My sister and dad just died and now my mother is sending me to a relatives house. She says it's to cope, that the fresh air will be good for me but I think that she just couldn't take it anymore." Now the boy looked confused and asked
"Couldn't take what?" I smile the grim little grin I've used thousands of times since everything had happened.
"That one of her daughters was dead and the other just stood there, letting it happen." He was shocked and I blocked any noise around us with the sound of Escape The Fate. I've heard too many sorrys or you poor thing in the past month to even care anymore. Two hours later we land in a Wisconsin airport. I resist putting on my heavy sweater. Some how it just feels like I'm giving in, but I change my mind as soon the flight attendant opens the door letting in the cold Winter wind. Walking down the steps I find my grandma right away. She isn't exactly the grammy type. No knitting sweaters or blankets or that kind of thing but, she is one the best grandmothers anyone could ever want. I hug her and she grabs the small bag I have with me. We walked across the parking lot to a huge black truck.
"When did you get this gram?" She wasn't technically my grandma but she was my step dad's mom and since he was in my life since I was about 3 I always considered her my family. Not to mention she's the only one I have because my mom's parents died before I was even thought of.
"This?" She patted the steering wheel.
"Last month that old car of mine almost dragged me off the road and I figured I needed something that I could trust more." She smiled at me but I couldn't smile back.
"Your mom's been telling me about how you're handling all this and I don't think it's right." I look at the women sitting across from me and reply very seriously.
"What's not right? I'm not doing anything." Gram just stares ahead and keeps talking
"That's my point you're not doing anything. Jesse and Derek wouldn't have wanted it this way, they would've wanted us to go on living." I keep looking out the window as we speed past trees getting ready to lose their leaves. Red , gold, pink, green, brown. All the colors blend together smoothly into a giant blur. When Winter fully sets in all the leaves will fall and be raked, bagged and thrown away or burned.
"Pretty leaves this time of year." I say trying to change the subject and deal with what's going on and gram lets me replying with
"Yeah. This Winter is gonna be a long one." We pull up the driveway I haven't seen in a long time and next to the curb is a white truck not much smaller then gram's.
"Who's is that?" My mom told it would just be me and gram but maybe someone else is here.
"Well you know that I'm a busy person so I got that for you to get around town. Now it's getting late so you should probably get settled in and call your mom." I leaned over and gave her a hug then opened the door and jumped down from my seat. Gram got my bag from the back and we walked into the house. I took my bag and waited for her to tell me where my room was.
"Up the stairs and it's the door straight down the hall my room's down here so if you need anything just wake me up ok." She looked at me for to confirm and I nodded and headed up the old, creaky, steps. I walked down the hallway thinking to myself Maybe this isn't all that bad after all. I mean I DID get a new truck out of all of this. I smiled as I unpacked my bags,
listening to Fall Out Boy through my headphones. A light knocking interupted my my humming.
"Come in!" I called pulling out my earbuds and pausing my music. Gram poked her head in to tell me that dinner was ready so I told her I'd be down in a second. She left and just before walking out my door I checked my reflection in the mirror. Everything seemed normal until I noticed a boy who looked about 16 maybe 17 sitting on the edge of my bed, staring back at me with eyes so blue they were almost white and a smirk on his lips. What the hell? This freaked me out a lot. Not only because I thought me and Gram were here alone but because he looked like he wasn't there. His reflection was blurred while mine were perfectly clear next to him. Slowly turning I looked toward the bed only to see nothing was there. I sprinted down the stairs and into the kitchen almost hitting the table.
"Woah! Slow down there kiddo! Haha" Gram stopped me and asked me what had happened "You look like you've seen a
ghost!" Was that what I saw? I thought Well even if it was I don't think I should tell her, it would only upset her.
"Haha nothing happened i'm just super hungry!" I smiled at her and sat down pileing spaghetti high onto my plate. She laughed and sat down across from me. There wasn't much talk during diner because as soon as I took the first bite I relised I really was starving!
When everything was cleaned up I called my mom. There wasn't much to say and before long she wanted to talk to Gram. I handed her the phone and saying
"She wants to talk to you." Gram took the phone and told me to go to bed because I had school in the morning. I paused on the stairs, still in hearing range of the kitchen.

Best answer:

Answer by kitteh katteh
that is really good
m thirteen too
and im not just saying this because im trying to be nicce
but i read a lot of books
i love book and stories
and i know when the story im reading is good when i keep interest in it
it was really something that i would want to read more and see what happens and how it would end
like at the begining with the boy on the plane i thought something was going to happen later in the story with that boy
i wouldnt think that there would be a ghost in this story
good job
keep up the good work
hope u finish this and maybe publish this
cuz i want to see what happens next

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