Question: Please read this small chunk of my novel?

I endlessly on the look out for news regarding new information on fork trucks. Here is an important question that I expect you would find compelling.

Question by Tayla: Please read this small chunk of my novel?
This a small chunk of my story. I really need to go back and the edit the beginning of my story so I chose a section on the 35th page for you's to read since my writing is better here. There will be mistakes as the is un edited. Violet is the main character, Lincoln is her best and only friend and Delano is quite an evil character. I really appreciate any advice you can give me. Was this hard for you to read, did you struggle to continue reading? How can I make my writing better?

I got up and walked to my bedroom. I had a lot to think about. It felt like my brain was jumping up and down in my skull trying to escape this mess. I couldn't get the nightmare about Lincoln out of my head. What if Delano has him help captive? I heard gran gently knock on my door.

"Come in".

"I brought you some special herbal tea to help with your nightmares".

"Thanks gran".

I grabbed the cup of tea. It's boiling hot, it's a greenish colour and stinks like she dunked a skunk in it! I scrunched my nose up at the tea.

"Drink up" said gran.

I took a sip of the tea and sprayed it everywhere.

"No offense gran but this tastes just as worse as it smells! What did you put in it"?

"It's best if you don't know. Make sure you drink it all, you have a big day training tomorrow".

"Training? What training"!

"Night sweety" gran said smiling.

It took me a while but I managed to drink every last drop. This better work, I don't want to face anymore nightmares. It's so good to sleep on a bed again. It feels like a soft fluffy cloud. I quickly drifted off into a deep sleep.

'Lincolns lifeless body was still chained to the stone wall. A puddle of his own blood surrounded him. I stood their crying. Delano stood behind me laughing. All of a sudden Lincoln lifted his head and started at me with his gorgeous green eyes.
"Why didn't you help me Violet"?
"I tried to Lincoln! I couldn't move my legs".
"It's your fault I'm dead".
Delano whispered in my ear "Murderer".
"NO" I screamed!
"YES" Delano yelled!
I turned around to punch him but I wasn't fast enough and he grabbed my arm and twisted it. He then pushed me to the ground so I was kneeling.
"Beg for mercy"!
"Never"!
Delano laughed pitifully and called Lincoln over. Lincoln ripped off the chains and kneeled in front of me so we were eye level. Delano handed him a knife. He moved his lips close to mine and whispered "why didn't you love me"? He then stabbed the knife into my heart. A tear trickled down his face. Everything went black as I drew my last breath.'

I suddenly woke up gasping for air. The tea did nothing! I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. When will the nightmares leave me alone?
"Violet...Violet are you okay, what happend" gran asked panting?

"Nothing I just had a nightmare, why are you panting".

"I heard you scream, so I came here as quick as I could. I'm sorry the tea didn't help love. Why don't you take a shower and I will get breakfast ready for you".

"What time is it"?

"5:00am, now go and have a warm shower".

I slowly got out of bed and grabbed the clothes gran had neatly folded up on my dresser. A warm shower is just what I needed. I looked down at all my scars. I may be free from father but he has left is marks on me for eternity. It feels so nice to be clean again. I walked into the kitchen. I could hear bacon crackling on the frypan. My stomach growled demanding food.i took a seat at the kitchen table.

"You poor thing. You look like you have been hit by a truck".

"Make that ten trucks".

Grandma served me a plate full of bacon and eggs. Saliva dripped from my mouth. I shoved as much bacon and eggs I could fit into my mouth. Grandma slapped me hard across the head.

"Violet! I know you are a hungry growing werewolf but there is no need to eat like that"!

"Sorry" I said with a mouthful of bacon.

Grandma gave me a disapproving look and handed me a knife and fork. I quickly piled bacon onto the fork and shoved it in my mouth. I haven't eaten anything decent in a few days now, the scraps I found in the forest weren't exactly appetising.

"Ahem" gran coughed.

"Sorry gran".

I cut up a human bite sized piece of bacon and chewed it slowly.

"Better" gran said smiling.

Best answer:

Answer by pascal
it's cool, i enjoyed reading it. you made a few errors like err, you wrote "their" but it should be "there" and a few others but other than that i liked it

Give your answer to this question below!

Be sure and check out all the questions in articles.