Question: Can someone critique this for me?

I forever search for intelligence regarding new information on forklifts. Here is an important question that we anticipate you would find informative.

Question by Jake (AKA Captain Crash): Can someone critique this for me?
This is my writing exercise today- just an intense, short paragraph that doesn't really have much context besides what it provides itself. It's supposed to be a fast, action-packed part of a longer story. I just want someone to give me a few pointers.

Phil stood with his back against the wall, nervously holding the .22 and staring towards the opposite side of the dusty motel room. He knew that it would all end in just a few moments, and he was fine with that. No life at all would be better than a life in hiding. He had been on the run for two years. Ever since the infection. He had always figured that he would get eaten alive by one of the zombies. Nope. He wasn't even that lucky. He was about to get gored by a forklift. It revved again, louder this time. There wasn't much he could do at that point. He was down to his last two bullets. A light suddenly shined through the dirty window, and he could hear the tires of the forklift spinning on the pavement of the parking lot. It didn't have to go too fast. It's sheer weight would bring the already crumbling wall down. Locking the door at all was just a joke. That door wouldn't keep anything out. Not even the wind. It was hot and dry against his back, blowing through the holes in his shirt where he got hung up on the fence earlier. Then he saw it- not a window, but a small hole in the back wall towards the ceiling. One of those mounting holes for an air conditioner. He stepped up onto the small desk below it and squirmed out through it just as the other wall disintegrated and the forklift plowed through. As he toppled out onto the grass, he heard Luke's AK-47 firing into the empty room.

He was home free. Or so he thought. He picked himself up off the grass, preparing to run off- put as much distance between Luke and himself as possible- but instead of freedom in front of him, there were zombies. Lots of zombies.

Best answer:

Answer by ~MogMog~
Eh. Well.

It doesn't really do much for me. It's not terribly written. Just very bland, not at all interesting, and pretty typical. In short, there's just nothing special about it. There's also a lot of extraneous material that could be excised . . . this is definitely a case of overwriting. And even though it's only a paragraph, and not part of a larger work, you could do a lot more with that large amount of words than you actually did.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

Be sure and check out all the questions in posts.